eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
