How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
