Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
