In the future we'll all be gay
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
