this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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