I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sorry about my life...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize