dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
