so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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