so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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