Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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