i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
