If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
