Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
