just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
