I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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