Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
