Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
