Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
