and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
