If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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