It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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