Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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