this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
