her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
