I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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