i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
