I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize