It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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