College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
