she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
