i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
