my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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