just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
