i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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