I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
