we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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