i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize