I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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