I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
