I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize