Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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