I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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