can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
