So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
