omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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