my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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