I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I didn't shave. On purpose
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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