Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dignity is for republicans.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize