you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
