were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
