So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
