Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
