Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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