Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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