turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
