I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize