this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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