No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
