were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
