..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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