Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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