okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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