And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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