I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
