I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
