new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
