If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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