Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
