Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
