WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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