I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it because I queefed?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
