Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
