Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
