I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize