are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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