9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
